We tend to have two types of enemies:
Those that hurt us
Here we seek justice - this is judgment and punishment.
There is hardly enough time that passes for us to release someone else.
And those we have hurt
Here we seek forgiveness - this is grace and mercy.
Or we hope enough time passes where we never have to confront the issue.
So what do we do?
The easiest way to handle this is to separate and cut relationship (which is death, by the way).
Or we run to some other place.
Let's have a quick look at Jacob's (Ya'akov's) life to see how we typically handle certain enemies:
You may remember a time where Ya'akov had a less than pleasant last visit with his brother Esau:
Genesis 27:41 ‘Esau hated his brother because of the blessing his father had given him. ‘Esau said to himself, “The time for mourning my father will soon come, and then I will kill my brother Ya‘akov.”
Now, Ya'akov runs off to Laban's for a while then as he leaves that wonderful situation, he has an impending meeting with his long lost brother, Esau.
Now, Ya’akov was willing to do whatever was necessary to prevent Esau from killing him.
He built up a huge gift to present to his brother to try and buy favor instead of dealing with the issues from the past.
He knew Esau could have still held the anger -- and rightfully so.
So he put the sacrifices in order in the event Esau still wanted to kill him (and perhaps his family).
He was willing to sacrifice the slave women and their sons first, then Leah and her sons second, and finally Rachel and her son last. Maybe Rachel and Joseph could flee before being killed.
But something strange happened: Esau had forgiven Ya’akov and moved on with his own life.
How long was Ya’akov in bondage remembering what he had done to his brother?
All of those years he must have spent looking over his shoulder wondering if the judgment for what he did was going to come back to haunt him.
In our culture, we call those skeletons in our closet. Those things of the past that, if they were to come to light, we would be justly condemned. But we'll get to you later -- back to the story...
Ya'akov finally comes face-to-face with Esau.
Genesis 33:8 ‘Esau asked, “What was the meaning of this procession of droves I encountered?” and he answered, “It was to win my lord’s favor.” ‘Esau replied, “I have plenty already; my brother, keep your possessions for yourself.”
Esau had moved on with his life. How about that -- all of the grief and turmoil belonged to Ya'akov alone.
But even after the initial exchange had gone on well, Ya’akov was still hesitant and sent Esau ahead of him in the event this was all some big trick.
Is this because Ya’akov thought Esau was as deceptive as he was?
It's funny -- we tend to think of others like we think of ourselves. Is it possible our judgments of others may be rooted in what we know we would have done had the table been turned?
Even worse than that, however, if we see someone else operate in forgiveness and we are hesitant to believe it, is it because that’s how we forgive?
Is being able to forgive elusive to us because we don't feel we can be forgiven ourselves? Afterall, someone else's view our our actions may or may not be correct. But our own view of our actions is solidly based in fact.
Ok, so that's an example where Ya'akov had an enemy because of something he himself did to someone else. What about when someone does something to Ya'akov?
In Genesis 34, we have the story of Dinah, Ya'akov's daughter, and a man called Shechem. We are led to believe certain facts in the opening few verses but I'd encourage you to do a detailed word study to gain a bit more understanding.
Whatever the issue was here, Simeon and Levi were genuinely hurt due to what happened to their sister.
They then used the covenant (remember the circumcision event?) to bring death when the covenant was always intended to bring life.
But what should have Simeon and Levi actually done? Were they just in their actions? Is it ever ok to use something designed to bring life as a tool to bring death?
Is that how you respond to people that hurt you?
How quickly are you ready to bring death upon someone when they hurt you or someone you love?
To seemingly make matters worse, when Ya’akov confronted them, what did it seem he was most concerned about?
Justice or image?
Genesis 34:30 But Ya‘akov said to Shim‘on and Levi, “You have caused me trouble by making me stink in the opinion of the local inhabitants, the Kena‘ani and the P’rizi. Since I don’t have many people, they’ll align themselves together against me and attack me; and I will be destroyed, I and my household.”
Was he really more concerned about his image than the welfare of his daughter?
Maybe there is more to the story than we've assumed.
There are a few questions that come up when reading this story:
How did Shechem get Dinah in the first place?
Where was her protection? Where was her covering?
Genesis 34:1 One time Dinah the daughter of Le’ah, whom she had borne to Ya‘akov, went out to visit the local girls;
Was she unprotected because she went off alone or was she neglected this particular day?
Were the girls just having a fun visit with one another or were they someplace they shouldn’t have been?
Was Shechem a predator (like a wolf) or was this a Song of Songs moment between the two?
Were her brothers supposed to be with her or did they go off and do their own thing?
Will the wolf try and come near while the Shepherd is nearby?
Or does the wolf wait until the sheep are separated from the flock
Why didn’t Ya’akov speak when the offer was made to marry Dinah?
Genesis 34:11 Then Sh’khem said to her father and brothers, “Only accept me, and I will give whatever you tell me. 12 Ask as large a bride-price as you like, I’ll pay whatever you tell me. Just let me marry the girl.” 13 The sons of Ya‘akov answered Sh’khem and Hamor his father deceitfully, because he had defiled Dinah their sister.
Why were Levi and Simeon hurt?
Were they upset she had sexual relations outside of wedlock?
Did they feel the family's reputation was under attack?
Or were they the ones supposed to look after her?
Did she resist or consent?
We see in 2 Samuel 13 that Tamar had a voice to help us determine what happened.
Dinah has no response here
Or was intermarriage an embarrassment to the family?
These things aren’t mentioned so we can’t assume.
In fact, I'd argue that the answers to these questions don't matter as much to the story. The story's lesson is different.
It seems as though the point of this story has more to do with how Ya'akov and his family responded to the situation.
The brothers chose to use the sign of the covenant to kill an entire people group.
There are rules that address several interpretations of what happened:
Deut 22:25 “But if the man comes upon the engaged girl out in the countryside, and the man grabs her and has sexual relations with her, then only the man who had intercourse with her is to die. 26 You will do nothing to the girl, because she has done nothing deserving of death. The situation is like the case of the man who attacks his neighbor and kills him. 27 For he found her in the countryside, and the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her.
28 “If a man comes upon a girl who is a virgin but who is not engaged, and he grabs her and has sexual relations with her, and they are caught in the act, 29 then the man who had intercourse with her must give to the girl’s father one-and-a-quarter pounds of silver shekels, and she will become his wife, because he humiliated her; he may not divorce her as long as he lives.
If she was betrothed to someone else, they should have just killed Shechem, not the whole city.
If she was not betrothed, they should have accepted the bride price.
Are these things that lead to Ya’akov’s silence in the conversations that take place?
Is he upset with Levi and Simeon because now he has to flee yet again because his family did not honor Abba's commands in the matter?
This family was supposed to be the one family in the earth that showed everyone else how Abba wants us to live. What an embarrassment -- not just to Ya'akov's family but to the reputation of the Creator of the universe.
Now we have Ya'akov dealing with the fallout of what someone did to him. It wasn't just Shechem that did something to Ya'akov, it was his sons also.
Are his sons his enemy now? Or has he graduated to the same level as Esau with regard to forgiveness?
It's ok to be upset when people do things to you but it is not ok to bring death to the table when you get hurt. More importantly, you should never use something designed to bring life as a tool to bring death.
And when you see other people do that very thing, you bring correction (if that is your place) and move on.
It wasn't necessary for Ya'akov to bring judgment on his sons. Abba did that Himself by removing both Levi and Simeon from having an identity and an inheritance. (Simeon was absorbed into Judah later on, and Levi outright received no inheritance in the land. Although, after the Golden Calf incident, Levi did manage to recover an identity as the priests of Israel. Isn't that funny? Levi used the covenant to bring death and was then tasked with using the covenant to bring life! Abba is so clever in how He handles situations.)
Upon reading this story for the first time, did you overlay your own judgments as to what was right and what was wrong? Is it possible you have judged this situation through the lens of your opinions today? Has your judgment of Dinah, Shechem, Levi, Simeon, Ya’akov changed at all?
Have you ever cast judgment on a matter or judged someone, only later to find out you were wrong?
Is it possible you don’t know everything and your judgment is rooted in your own pain?
Is it possible your judgment is rooted in the closeness you have to a real/perceived victim?
Is it possible your judgment is rooted in lack of knowledge?
Is it possible to extend grace into a situation where you don't have all of the details?
This is why we leave judgment up to Abba. He has all of the details and can judge justly. It is futile for us to try and take on such an incredible responsibility such as determining whether someone else should live or die. Think about it: do you want your life in the hands of someone that doesn't know the full truth? Can you trust them to do what is just? Is it even worth the risk? Of course, not.
Why do we hesitate to bring in life?
(Oh, nevermind. You only bring life into the culture, right?)
How many enemies do you have due to things you have done?
How many enemies do you have due to what they have done to you?
How much does your perception of reality dictate your response?
Think of someone that has hurt you
Don’t fight the initial feeling you have and pretend there is no pain.
What do you see as justice in that situation?
What would you like for them to say to you?
Forgive and extend grace. Abba will handle the rest.
Think of someone you have hurt
Much smaller list, right?
What do you see as justice in that situation?
What would you like to say to them?
Execute judgment upon yourself and repent (to the other person, if possible).
What is stopping you?