Most of the damage done in a person’s life does not come from overt rebellion against God. It comes from something far more subtle: a lie that feels reasonable, sounds spiritual, and fits comfortably within the culture we inhabit.
These lies embed themselves into our belief structures and quietly shape how we think, decide, relate, and respond. Over time, they begin to govern our motivations. What makes them especially dangerous is that they often borrow the language of Scripture. A Biblical idea is not rejected outright but instead, it is massaged just enough to justify worldly methods while still feeling faithful.
We learn how to weave Biblical language into a life that is fundamentally driven by worldly logic. And because the outcomes often look successful (stable families, growing influence, financial security, ministry involvement) we convince ourselves that God must be pleased.
Scripture gives us a word for this state of life.
It is not evil, but it is not good either.
It is the Erev -- a life of mixture.
Erev is the place where we attempt to live with one foot in the Kingdom of God and one foot in the systems of the world. It is where we want eternal life without surrender, blessing without obedience, and purpose without cost. And because it does not look like rebellion, it is rarely confronted.
On the outside, an Erev life often looks enviable. You have the trophies of success and the language of faith. You appear blessed. Others begin to covet what you have and sometimes, they even follow you. In subtle ways, you become an object of admiration, even among believers. An idol, if you will.
Those who reach this place are often convinced that God Himself is the source of their success. They will even say so publicly and believe it sincerely. But if you stay long enough and listen closely, you will hear the cost. Trades were made. Compromises were justified. Eternal things were exchanged for temporary gains.
I know this because it was my story.
Looking back, I can see a trail of rationalized decisions, compromised relationships, poor leadership moments, selfishness in marriage, missed opportunities in parenting, all justified by a single phrase: “This is for my family.” What I wanted felt noble. But the fruit eventually told the truth.
And when the fallout came (because it always does) I faced a choice that all of us face eventually:
Either I would take responsibility for my decisions, or I would blame the Adversary for consequences that were born of my own compromise.
Many choose the latter.
We tend to commit to whatever fulfills our needs:
For example, a controlling or manipulative wife will make it easier for the husband to seek after having his needs fulfilled someplace else. This usually shows up through work or some other external activity like hanging out with the guys, video games, hobbies, and even other women (digital first, then physical later).
Likewise, an absent or flippant husband will often pressure the wife into seeking avenues where they are needed. A lot of women gravitate towards having the children as their focus because the “children need her” or they find a career that can provide the artificial support and care she desires. Other areas may include romance books and/or movies, female friendships that replace spousal intimacy, online chats and eventually, it may even end up with her connected to another man.
Simply speaking, we need to be needed. And we need our needs met. And what are these needs? According to Dr Larry Crabb (and subsequently, the Bible) these needs are security (I need to be wanted) and significance (I need to matter). Neither of which are needs that should be fulfilled by anything other than YHVH.
But we demand people be the source of fulfilling these needs and, believe me when I say, people are horrible at meeting these needs. So you can only imagine how stressful (and perhaps unfulfilling) a marriage can be when we expect our spouse to rise up above their own needs and desires to ensure that ours are met.
In a relationship, love and honor (respect) are the currency for women and men, respectively. What makes this all incredibly interesting is that we tend to honor whatever gives us security, and we tend to love whatever makes us significant.
A husband that does not feel significant in the eyes of his wife will struggle to love her completely and fully. Likewise, a wife that does not feel secure in the actions of her husband will equally struggle to honor her husband as the king of the home. With each spouse waiting in expectation for the other to meet their needs, the downward spiral in their intimacy begins. And the only way out is to turn to YHVH to have our needs met.
Let’s look again at the statement made above: we tend to honor whatever gives us security, and we tend to love whatever makes us significant.
If it is God Himself that is the One meeting our needs, then it stands to reason that we would love and honor Him above all things. Here lies the real problem. Do we really believe He’s the One meeting our needs? If we are putting this, in any way, onto others, then I don’t believe we can fully give our lives over to Him in the wholeness and fullness He wants.
Which means we continually teeter between worshiping the Creator and His creation (our spouse, family, friends, etc). And when creation fails to provide, we look to the world. Of course, just like with God, the world wants you to fully commit. Your boss wants all of the time and energy you’ve got. Lenders, credit companies, and marketers want all of the money you’ve got. These demands introduce stress into your life, and most importantly into your relationships. The idea of shalom is not present in your day-to-day life. It is reserved for that one or two week vacation you get each year. Otherwise, stress, not shalom, is what fills your life continually.
But you do get things in return. The thing is, it is all based on a trade. You have to give something that has eternal value in order to get something of temporary value. This is the rat race.
Most believers would answer honestly and say they want nothing more than to help grow the Kingdom of God. I fully believe this to be true.
But…
We need resources so we can impact the Kingdom. We need the time and energy to do it. And we need shalom to keep it up. None of which we have, so we go out and try to get it.
And since “this is how the real world works”, you must comply with the rules so you can gather what you need to then turn it towards the Kingdom. Of course, that rarely happens because you have to keep going. It never stops. Until it does.
We assume retirement will be the window of full commitment to the purpose you’ve been placed in the earth, and hopefully that’s true. But why wait? Go ahead and get those core needs met today.
“Uh, how?”
Well, who is going to make you feel important today? Who is going to love you today?
How will you actually live a life full of blessing?
Most of us live in a place of mixture. We don’t want the curses outlined in Deuteronomy 28, but we’re not especially interested in pursuing the blessings either. At least not if it requires discomfort, exposure, or surrender.
Living at zero feels safe. No curses. No real blessing. No risk. No responsibility.
But this neutral space is an illusion.
Blessing is never merely personal. Blessing is the mechanism by which life flows outward to others. To refuse blessing is not humility, it is selfishness. When we settle for neutrality, we rob others of the life God intended to bring through us.
Why do we resist stepping fully into it?
Because blessing comes with weight. Responsibility. Visibility. Accountability. A life given away cannot be tightly controlled. And so we distract ourselves. We stay busy. We spiritualize delay. We convince ourselves that one day, when things calm down, when resources increase, when life becomes manageable, that’s when we will fully commit.
That day rarely comes.
So the Erev is sustained by a quiet unbelief: God is good, but not trustworthy enough to reorder my life around Him.
We want the Kingdom, but only after the world has met our needs. We want to serve, but only after we feel secure. We want purpose, but without vulnerability. This is not rebellion, it is hesitation masquerading as wisdom.
And Scripture has no category for it.
There is a lie (or simply an unbelief) that keeps us locked into the path of the world. How do we escape that? Wouldn’t it be nice to know of someone that actually succeeded in this?
Good news, we do know of someone.
Yeshua started and ended His ministry with the following teachings: spiritual matters first, then practical matters later.
At the beginning Yeshua spoke of spiritual matters:
Matthew 7:13 “Go in through the narrow gate; for the gate that leads to destruction is wide and the road broad, and many travel it; 14 but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
7:15 “Beware of the false prophets! They come to you wearing sheep’s clothing, but underneath they are hungry wolves! 16 You will recognize them by their fruit. Can people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every healthy tree produces good fruit, but a poor tree produces bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, or a poor tree good fruit. 19 Any tree that does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown in the fire! 20 So you will recognize them by their fruit.
7:21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, only those who do what my Father in heaven wants. 22 On that Day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord! Didn’t we prophesy in your name? Didn’t we expel demons in your name? Didn’t we perform many miracles in your name?’ 23 Then I will tell them to their faces, ‘I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’
7:24 “So, everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a sensible man who built his house on bedrock. 25 The rain fell, the rivers flooded, the winds blew and beat against that house, but it didn’t collapse, because its foundation was on rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a stupid man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain fell, the rivers flooded, the wind blew and beat against that house, and it collapsed — and its collapse was horrendous!”
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This has to be our starting point. It is critical we get these spiritual truths anchored well in advance of the practicalities of living. What are these:
The first point is simply the way of the world.
The second is when someone tries to tell you that you can live in both the world and the Kingdom.
The third is you trying to ride the fence between the world and the Kingdom.
And the last is how your home will fare as a result of choosing wisely (or poorly).
Your life, your family, your home, your legacy -- they all stand or fall based on which kingdom you choose.
And keep in mind this is the launching point, not the landing point you hope to hit in retirement.
Now let’s look at the practical matter.
At the end of His ministry, Yeshua told the parable of the Talents then made this statement:
Matthew 25:31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, accompanied by all the angels, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be assembled before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates sheep from goats. 33 The ‘sheep’ he will place at his right hand and the ‘goats’ at his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you whom my Father has blessed, take your inheritance, the Kingdom prepared for you from the founding of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you made me your guest, 36 I needed clothes and you provided them, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ 37 Then the people who have done what God wants will reply, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and make you our guest, or needing clothes and provide them? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison, and visit you?’ 40 The King will say to them, ‘Yes! I tell you that whenever you did these things for one of the least important of these brothers of mine, you did them for me!’
41 “Then he will also speak to those on his left, saying, ‘Get away from me, you who are cursed! Go off into the fire prepared for the Adversary and his angels! 42 For I was hungry and you gave me no food, thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 a stranger and you did not welcome me, needing clothes and you did not give them to me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ 44 Then they too will reply, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, thirsty, a stranger, needing clothes, sick or in prison, and not take care of you?’ 45 And he will answer them, ‘Yes! I tell you that whenever you refused to do it for the least important of these people, you refused to do it for me!’ 46 They will go off to eternal punishment, but those who have done what God wants will go to eternal life.”
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This discusses a life of action. More specifically, a life of serving.
It’s easy to turn this last part (feeding others, clothing others, street ministry, etc) into a checklist of tasks and call it a day. Sure, it’s great that you help out from time to time, but we tend to do this on our own terms and for those people we deem worthy of our time. The thing is, we don’t get the privilege of choosing who is and who isn’t worthy of life.
45 And he will answer them, ‘Yes! I tell you that whenever you refused to do it for the least important of these people, you refused to do it for me!’
Who are these “least important”? Clearly this isn’t least important according to Abba because He shows no favoritism. This clearly has to do with a judgment scale we carry in our own hearts and minds. A classification system gets developed and we measure out Abba’s love for others based on that system.
Keep in mind that this was said right after the Parable of the Talents. When kept in isolation, most people teach that the parable was talking about investments, growing a business, using your natural giftings, etc. Even if it isn’t overtly about money, the undercurrent of what is said tends to speak to some kind of monetary-ish resource.
Why do we gravitate towards finances when reading the Parable of the Talents? Because that’s where our heart is a lot of the time.
It’s funny how we can claim to not care about money and yet we overlay so many readings in that context. That fact alone is enough evidence to show us what is truly in our hearts.
But I’d argue that this teaching in Matthew 25 has less to do with monetary issues and more to do with Kingdom issues. Think about it, if people needed food, drink and clothing, why doesn’t Abba simply provide it? Shouldn’t He have the capacity to provide for these people in need Himself? Couldn’t He release them from prison and heal them of their sickness?
If He can but doesn’t, what does that say about His character?
If we assume Abba withholds provision arbitrarily, then service becomes conditional and obedience becomes transactional.
This reverts back to the idea that God is in control and man is just a pawn in the grand scheme of life. He’s like the Wizard of Oz behind some screen pulling levers and randomly giving and taking away. If we could somehow crack the code, He would pour out “blessings” upon our lives and our life would be good.
This is the goal, right? To be blessed?
Well, sort of. But not blessed how you think about it (remember the money issue we discussed before?).
It is my opinion that living a life of blessing is one in which we are a blessing (more on this later). But we are deceived into believing we need to be blessed in order to bless. It’s out of our overflow that we think the Kingdom should grow. Or worse still, maybe it’s out of someone else’s overflow.
But I’m not too sure it has anything to do with overflow at all. In fact, I’d argue that it is in our deficit that real Kingdom growth occurs.
How exactly would that work?
Well, if Abba had something for you to do, He would see to it you had exactly what you needed to get it done. Of course, we think that’s money, but I don’t think money matters as much as you think. We just use it as an excuse to not do what He has us here to do.
So not having money means we can’t do that great thing He has for us to do. What happens then when you do have money?
When you have plenty of money, traps are easily set at every turn. Savings, retirement, a bigger house, a better car, more stuff — not wrong in themselves, but dangerous when they begin to define our priorities. When accumulation becomes the focus, we start living like slaves, obsessed with ownership and control. Sons, however, are marked by stewardship. And we are called to live as sons.
Can you now see the tension? Not having enough money paralyzes us and having too much money enslaves us. The result? No real movement in growing the Kingdom.
How about you?
Imagine your ideal life right now. How does it look? What are the top 3 things you see? If I had to guess, it would be some flavor of these:
But these are all lies.
If you are like me, you may teeter between two different positions that we believe should be unified: a life in the world with all of your physical wants satisfied, and the power of the Kingdom in full effect.
I believe most people believe the latter can only come once the former has been fulfilled. But, as we saw above, Yeshua spoke to the opposite. And of course, this makes perfect sense because it confounds the teachings of the world.
What if instead of hunting for blessings, we decided to usher them in for others? How do you think the world would look if every believer focused on the wellbeing of others over their own wellbeing?
Amazing, right? Is this even possible, though?
I think just about everyone would agree that Yeshua was more interested in being a blessing than receiving a blessing. We all know He came to serve and not to be served, but we tend to put Him in a special category that is vastly separated from our own lives.
This is simply not true. He came as an example for us all to show us that we too can walk in the Kingdom of God. Now. Today.
We don’t need money and we don’t need resources. But if we are given money and resources, we need to be diligent in not allowing our lifestyle to swallow it up.
In summary, if you are lacking resources, you are probably in the best position to help grow the Kingdom. There is no reason you need to wait to serve. You can help others, you can serve others, you can humble yourself before anyone. Start working on forgiveness and restoring the broken relationships in your life. Then go teach others how to do the same. None of these need your money.
However, if you have plenty, then your first order of business would be to figure out how much Abba wants for you to spend on yourself and how much He’s earmarked for His purposes. If you are overcommitted to your lifestyle then work diligently to bring that under control. But that does not mean you can’t be effective. This simply puts you in the same category as someone that is lacking resources.
We do not need to live in the Erev any longer. Mixture is not maturity, it is delay. The Kingdom of God is not accessed through comfort, resources, or timing; it is accessed through surrender.
Some of us have little, and that may be our greatest advantage. Others have much, and that is a stewardship test, not a reward. But none of us are waiting on permission to live faithfully. The light is full. The invitation is open.
The only question left is whether we will step fully into it or remain comfortably mixed.