1 A psalm of David, when he fled from Avshalom his son:
2 YHVH, how many enemies I have! How countless are those attacking me;
3 how countless those who say of me, “There is no salvation for him in God.” (Selah)
4 But you, YHVH, are a shield for me; you are my glory, you lift my head high.
5 With my voice I call out to YHVH, and he answers me from his holy hill. (Selah)
6 I lie down and sleep, then wake up again, because YHVH sustains me.
7 I am not afraid of the tens of thousands set against me on every side.
8 Rise up, YHVH! Save me, my God! For you slap all my enemies in the face, you smash the teeth of the wicked.
9 Victory comes from YHVH; may your blessing rest on your people. (Selah)
A son hunting his father. My, how difficult this must have been.
But, as is usually the case, there is a backstory that brought David to this place.
Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. Their half-brother Amnon, David's eldest son and heir apparent, became infatuated with Tamar. With the help of a cunning friend, Amnon deceived and raped her.
David was furious when he heard about it—but he did nothing to punish Amnon. This inaction (likely stemmed from his own guilt over past sins, especially after the Bathsheba affair), and it sowed deep resentment in Absalom.
Absalom waited two full years before taking matters into his own hands. He invited all the king’s sons to a feast and had his servants kill Amnon during the celebration. Then Absalom fled to Geshur, staying with his grandfather (his mother’s father) for three years.
Eventually, through the intervention of Joab (David’s general), Absalom was allowed to return to Jerusalem—but David refused to see him for two more years. When they finally reconciled, the relationship was still fractured.
Absalom began building his own political support. He presented himself as more accessible and just than David, winning the hearts of the people. After four years of this, he declared himself king in Hebron—David’s old stronghold.
With a strong following, Absalom launched a rebellion. David, unprepared and not wanting a battle in Jerusalem, fled the city with his loyalists. This set the stage for the pursuit: Absalom took over the capital, and actively sought David's life to secure his claim to the throne.
So here we sit.
A man with a severely broken family is on the run…from his son. His son! How on earth did we get here?
Go back to when David learns about his daughter Tamar.
Suppose it were you. How would you respond?
We’d like to think we would boldly stand up to the perpetrator, even if it was our own son. We’d also like to stand for justice and righteousness then do whatever was necessary to bring healing into the family, right?
Well, to get a good view into David’s predicament, it’s important we understand the dynamic in play.
Amnon was the first born of David. That meant he was in line to be the next king of Israel. As a child, he was touted as successor to the throne and likely had a bit of immunity attached to any and all of his actions. Everyone reveres him and wants to be his friend because that could come in handy someday. Besides, no one would dare correct the future king, right? Even a father, it seems.
So Amnon grows up in an incredibly privileged environment. Now, Absalom likely had similar living conditions with one key exception: he would not be king. No one walks on eggshells around him because they don’t have to. Sure, he’s David’s son but he’s younger and from another wife. Important, but not as important as his oldest brother.
If having many wives at once is as treacherous as we assume, the family home would probably be similar to what we witnessed with Jacob’s wives. “My child can do no wrong so please keep your kid away from mine! If an issue does arise between them, I know how perfect my little one is so…”
It’s then safe to assume Absalom and Tamar were probably not going to receive the same treatment as Amnon. Not necessarily treated poorly as much as not treated as well. Even for a father trying to resolve differences in real time, it makes sense he would bend a little more favorably towards the next king of Israel.
So when Amnon decided to do what he did with his half-sister, he felt he was justified. The future king can do no wrong (so he’s been told) and he also gets exactly everything he wants (all of the time). All the privilege and no responsibility. Sounds like a modern-day teenager’s dream!
Imagine spending the better part of your son’s life building him up to be king. Not just building him up in his own eyes but also in the eyes of a nation. Tales have been spun to his greatness in the ears of all who will listen. Parents are proud and the nation cannot wait for the golden boy to rise up and continue on the greatness of his father. But when siblings hear that, jealousy and subsequently, resentment tend to make an appearance.
Yep, good ol’ sibling rivalry.
And it seems David did nothing about it. Furthermore, he let an offense against the Torah stand without correction. His own daughter was violated by his son and he did nothing. Well, that’s not totally true -- he got angry. But anger is not a substitute for correction. Blowing your top is a selfish response simply because you cannot control a situation.
If this happened in today’s age, what would you say about that father? You know, the father that is largely absent. The father that has no real say in what goes on within the family walls. The father that is busy running a nation (or business or hobby or…) so he can’t be there to lead the household. The father that refuses to (or can’t) bring correction to his children. The father that ignores a serious crime committed within his family. What would you say about him?
I know what I would say: “There is no salvation for him in God.”
Those on the outside see David fleeing and are convinced God could not possibly be with him or else he’d stand his ground. If God were with him, who could be against him?
Popular opinion says that if you know God is with you, there is no reason to fear. And if you're not fearful, you don’t need to flee from your enemies. Ergo, if you are full of fear then we may have a salvation problem. This isn’t true, but our personal judgments rarely are.
Life is never that cut and dry for ordinary people. Checklists and flowcharts describing how God makes decisions is foolish. What we see on the outside of a person is not what Abba sees. We judge by fruitless and useless measures. God judges rightly.
The inside of man is incredibly elaborate. It may not be fear that is causing David to flee. It very well may be guilt. And guilt does strange things to us.
“Who am I to bring correction to someone else? I know all of the crimes I myself have committed and I have no room to speak. Worse still, I have failed the very one that needs correcting so my words are of zero use.”
But that simply is not true. The mere fact that you realize you made mistakes gives you full authority to speak. More than that, if you have repented to Abba, you can even speak from a position of great authority -- because you have lived it. You know the outcome of these decisions. You realize the trouble that comes from your actions. You’ve done it. And then repented.
Repentance is the key to opening the door to massive authority. Knowing you were wrong, knowing you were guilty, repenting, then seeking God to repair the breach -- this is how other people’s lives get changed -- if we speak.
I have no doubt that David knows precisely where he erred. I’m sure he can look back through his life as a parent and see all the times he was absent. All the soccer games he missed. All the times his children just needed to be told they were wrong. All the times he should have taught them all how to truly repent and seek their God. But the busyness of life just got in the way.
The great thing about God is that you can make horrible mistakes in life, and if you truly repent, He will be there for you.
So at this moment, maybe David isn’t really running from Absalom as much as he’s running to God.
Yes, he could have been a better father. Yes, he could have taken more time out of his schedule to teach them the Ways of God. Yes, he could have taught them how to repent. But that time has passed. Which means his only option is to turn mightily into God and release that judgment over to Him.
That’s precisely what we see here:
But you, YHVH, are a shield for me; you are my glory, you lift my head high. With my voice I call out to YHVH, and he answers me from his holy hill. (Selah)
I lie down and sleep, then wake up again, because YHVH sustains me. I am not afraid of the tens of thousands set against me on every side. Rise up, YHVH! Save me, my God! For you slap all my enemies in the face, you smash the teeth of the wicked.
Victory comes from YHVH; may your blessing rest on your people. (Selah)